Monday, March 21, 2016

When "Kin" isn't perfect, but God ALWAYS IS.

This sweet lil guy is stealing our hearts by the minute. And it is scary.. I know in my head that this lil guy is potentially headed to a kinship placement and that that can be a GOOD thing. Especially when theoretical kin is angelic and perfect.

It is easy to comprehend the fallibility and imperfection of bio parents.. Obviously they just had their kids taken and placed in foster care.. so they  have work to do. I am for them and their hard work.

Kin is different for some reason. I guess I have this expectation of sweet uncle or sweet grandma stepping into the gap to take on in sacrificial love the kid that their family was unable to keep well and safe. That they would be better.

The truth is they are human too. Their reasons for desiring the child may not be as pure as I would hope. I just read a clip of a statement by a kinship placement that they are willing SO THAT THE CHILD WON"T GO INTO THE FOSTER SYSTEM. Which I totally understand. It would be crappy. Sometimes.

Here's the thing though.. This foster home is awesome :) This foster child is in a family that loves and adores and takes care of him. This foster home is dedicated. This foster home is not to be feared.

Would that change their mind? If they knew the child was safe and loved, would they withdraw their application? I would hope not.. I would hope that their desire was beyond fear of the alternative. But what if it wasn't. How can I best communicate how much we are FOR them if they really truly want to raise this child as their own, as a priority, as a gift.. and how much we are also FOR the child and would be willing to adopt if they are just trying to keep him out of the system.

I would hate for that to be the case. I would also hate for them to never get the chance to realize our hearts for both reunification AND for adoption.

So what would you do? I know I've heard of foster parents who include a letter of introduction to the foster family in the visit books. I would love to be able to actually get to know the kin rather than just pass the baton baby at visits.. I don't know how feasible that is. Or realistic. Or smart.

Here's the thing though.. The thing God keeps ringing through my head.. Lil Guy is HIS. Not mine. No matter who's family he goes to. God is in control. God will call his heart, God will place people in His life to lead Him to the narrow path, to the Christ I didn't even know til I was 11. Even if Lil Guy ends up in a terrible place ALL I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR IS THE TIME HE IS WITH US.

So here's my plan. PRAY, SING, SPEAK TRUTH, READ and FILL this kid with as much love and Spirit as I can while he's in my care. And then TRUST:

That God's Word does not come back VOID.
That His Spirit is Active
That Jesus is Alive and ever present from the beginning.

Maybe some day Lil Guy will hear a song that rings a bell in his soul from a time of peace and love that he can barely remember. Maybe he'll seek that out again.

I trust he will find Him. I trust if I sow the seeds, God will water them.

So. Now I'm on a mission. And now I'm realizing how I was NOT on mission for every minute with my own biological sons. I took for granted the time I had with them. But the truth is I might not have that with them. If something happens to Justin and I.. our kids will grow up in a different home, with their own "kinship placement" and I will have to trust (from heaven) that:

That God's Word does not come back VOID.
That His Spirit is Active
That Jesus is Alive and ever present from the beginning.

May I be more actively working for the souls of my sons.

Case Status Update:
First case plan meeting between caseworkers and kin is tomorrow. It should let them know what their expectations are for the services they'll have to do before placement. It will also hopefully delineate a visitation guideline. That should then go to court in April and become court ordered.

Health Update:
Baby Boy is gaining so well! He's over the 6lb mark and hits his one month birthday TOMORROW!
He's getting some chubby cheeks which is encouraging to see. Dr got us RX's for Gas drops and rash ointment. Nice to have it. Just got make sure to document it. And on that note I need to go scan in some papers for my caseworker. :)

And baby boy is crying now :) So much for that.

4 comments:

  1. I am really enjoying going through this journey with you on this blog. You are a brave woman. I never wanted to foster because I didn't want my heart torn out when it was time to let them go. But I commend you for allowing yourself that kind of pain in order to help a child be loved, even if just for a season. If something were to ever happen to both you and Justin, heaven forbid, please know that Tom and I would take your boys in a heartbeat. They would be safe here and loved.

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  2. Praying for you and this journey you're on! It's so hard to trust, but so worth it!

    BTW thank you so much for including me in your Blog Roll! I've had some visitors to my foster parenting posts from your blog - I appreciate it! :)

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    1. Thanks!! We are brand new but honestly all the awesome blogs were so helpful to see the beauty in the hard parts soo thank YOU too! I don't think I really could've understood Gods heart for foster care without them. 😄

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    2. Thanks!! We are brand new but honestly all the awesome blogs were so helpful to see the beauty in the hard parts soo thank YOU too! I don't think I really could've understood Gods heart for foster care without them. 😄

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