Staying Grounded.

Lil Guy has finally started gaining weight.. I think. We had to switch formula for a bit.. which I think the reflux/gas meds in hopes to keep it all in check. I think I figured out that the powdered formula version of the Enfacare for preemies basically turns into foam if you shake it.. which is basically just bubbles.... and thus gas.. So I'm going to try to make it without the foam.. or make it and let it sit in the refrigerator to settle a bit and see if that makes a difference. That Nutramigen stuff smelled like old cheese.. it was terrible. He grimaced every time he'd start drinking. Yuck. Anyway so hopefully we'll get back on track with the Hi Cal and get his weight up. He is gaining just veery slowly.

One piece of great news is that ECI decided he doesn't qualify for services at this point.. meaning he's doing so well he won't need therapy or anything yet. We'll get an eval at the Border Children's Clinic which specializes in "special situation" type babies... which being drug exposed qualifies him for that program. So they'll check him in a few months and we'll keep an eye on developmental milestones just in case.

Our first visit from caseworkers/legal and I think a CASA is coming up on Tuesday.. a week or so before his courtdate to finalize the case plan. So I'll get a bit more info on what their plan is for kin/visitation etc. Hopefully I'll be able to find out if anyone is in fact going to work for the placement or not. So that rollercoaster will be beginning soon.



A friend asked me yesterday how.. in the midst of the emotional turmoil.. do I stay grounded.

Honestly I feel a bit silly because we are so new to all this that there hasn't been a ton of turmoil yet. We haven't experienced courts and visitations and the back and forth of the foster care system that I know so many of you other foster parents have experienced. I do feel like we've gotten a taste.. and I do feel like I know what I'll be needing in the future

So I have been thinking a lot about that since she asked. My answer was a bit simple.. too simple maybe.

 I told her that I've tried to stay in the Word and cling to the verses that specifically speak of God being the Father to the Fatherless. Trying to align myself with HIS heart for the fatherless. His heart for Lil Guy.  It is truly sad to consider the fact that this poor Lil Guy truly is Fatherless, and Motherless to some degree. Abandoned. There are family in the mix that may step up. Or not. But for him.. God is his...

DEFENDER
He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing. Deut 10:18


But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless. Ps. 10:14

FATHER
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. Ps 68:5

WE are called to be:

DEFENDERS
Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed.Ps 82:3

PROVIDERS
When you have finished setting aside a tenth of all your produce in the third year, the year of the tithe, you shall give it to the Levite, the foreigner, the fatherless and the widow, so that they may eat in your towns and be satisfied. Deut 26:12

CAREGIVERS
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27


It's heartbreaking to know that this Lil Guy fits all of those categories. Fatherless. Orphan. etc. 

In the meantime we are doing our best to make sure he does not feel the void.

I also told my friend I am trying to love as intensely as I can.. but with a loose grip. I will not cling to Lil Guy, and refuse to trust he is First a child of God, and then my foster son. This is true of my own children as well. The tighter I hold on to them, the more God will have to pry my hands open. The harder I'll have to fight Him.. which is not comfortable. And not peaceful. So that's where I'm at right now. Trying to find the balance. Trying to live out the call .. defender, provider, caregiver. Essentially... be a mom. I can do that.


Everyone gets swept in a whirlwind in some way... at some point.. so..

How do you stay grounded?