Two weeks ago it seemed like family was not stepping in. There were hopeful hearts for adoption. I honestly felt a little tentative about it the whole time. I am uber realistic about these types of things. And very practical. So I didn't attach myself to the possibility much. Also as much as the bonding is happening with Lil Guy I still have that feeling like I am taking care of someone else's child. I'm ok with that too. Bonding takes time without all those crazy birth hormones.
Turns out family has been TRYING to get a hold of CPS for a month in order to set up visits. Which is so sad for them. Everyone kept saying.. nobody is requesting visits... we aren't sure if they are interested or if they'll work services if they may not do visits when they get started.. Putting the judgment on them. So sad. They have been TRYING and no one was calling back I guess. So we start tomorrow with our first visit. And I am hopeful :) I am excited for the family.
Honestly. They deserve HONOR. They are not the parents. They are "standing in the gap" as much as I am and making a sacrifice of their own lives to take on a newborn. They don't deserve judgment. They don't deserve distance. They need support, and information, and hope. So I'm hopeful.
I wrote a letter to put in the visit bag with basic details on Lil Guy's medical/developmental/preferences. AND if you remember back a few posts I wanted to write something to set them at ease if they were only pushing for custody due to their fear of the foster family. This letter ended up significantly different. Here's the first bit(Name changed obviously):
Hi "Lil Guy"’s Family!
Thank you so much for stepping forward and starting
visitations with Lil Guy! My husband and I truly believe God calls us to “stand
in the gap” for those who are in need.. and you are answering that call as much
as we are! So know that we appreciate and honor your willingness to stand in
the gap for Lil Guy. He is precious and a true blessing. We are enjoying every
minute we have him and do our best to care for him and communicate love and joy
to him daily. My 3 year old has a job in our house. It is to make sure all our
babies hear something special every day. He whispers over the crib every night “
You are safe, You are loved and You are good”.
So know that while the process begins, while the visitations seem so short,
that Lil Guy is feeling loved and cared for.
A quick
introduction of us. My name is Phyllis and I’m the primary caregiver as a stay
at home mom. My husband is
Justin. He is a Major in the Army. We have two sons who are 3 and 1 yrs old.
Lil Guy is our first foster placement. And a joy. We are licensed to
Foster/Adopt and we are basically just here to serve whether that be for just
fostering until reunification or adoption. We are active in our church here in El Paso
and have lived here off and on for 7 years.
So that's my heart. I want his family to have a fighting chance. So my goal is to be a light. To be so overwhelmingly supportive and loving that they see God, see grace and seek it out.
On a side note. If for some reason the placement doesn't work out and we do still end up adopting.. I want to be able to lean on the positive interaction and maintain a relationship for the sake of Lil Guy.
So why is this all so hard? Because it would be soooooooo easy... To be disappointed.. to be defensive... to sabotage... to be cold and apathetic... to not care. But who would that benefit? No one. Not even my crummy old soul.
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