Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you will win favor and a good name
in the sight of God and man.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:3-6
This has been a rollercoaster of a week.
Monday our visit was delayed because Uncle was getting electricity in his new apartment.. which means the homestudy is going to be done shortly before potential reunification. I was happy for Uncle. Sad to feel like the possibility of Lil Guy going was becoming more real, but hopeful the process would be moving forward.
Tuesday our dog Roscoe got hit by a car. He was 12 years old, 6 of them with Justin and I. He came to us at a time when Justin and I really needed something to bring us together at the beginning of our marriage. (If you are a newlywed and no one has ever told you this. THE FIRST YEAR OF MARRIAGE CAN BE AWFUL. You spend the year getting stripped of fleshy desires, needs and expectations until you are naked and raw and finally ready to unify with your spouse, finally ready to die to yourself in service of the other. But there is hope. Hang on, Trust God. You'll get there, and you will end up with an amazing marriage built on things that matter.. hope, grace, forgiveness..K I'm done..) It was so hard to lose him. It was even harder explaining it to Biggest Boy. I think he understands but wow. I cried so much that day. I'm so grateful for our awesome friends who happened to be there to watch the boys while I brought the dog to the vet.
Wednesday was basically spent cleaning as much as possible and going to Sam's Club for groceries. Our caseworker was coming Friday for a "as if I'm licensing" walk through. I was nervous. Especially since her unnannounced quarterly visit last month was a wreck. I had my med closet not only unlocked but open, and both medications were just lying around. The house was covered in laundry since I was mid laundry day and the dishes were piled. It was humiliating. So we spent most of Wednesday working on the house. Deep cleaning and recovering from the emotional turmoil of Tuesday's loss.
Thursday morning we had a scheduled visit so the boys and I loaded up and headed to the CPS building to drop off. We sat in the waiting room just shooting the breeze with Uncle for about 20 minutes before both of us realized our worker hadn't come and neither of us had even told her we were there. It was a good relaxed convo. He shared some family medical history that shed some light on the reflux/tummy/eczema issues we've been having. Sounds like he's got an apartment to furnish and get inspected once they start the home study.
After the visit he and the worker expressed concerns about how the spit up situation was getting "really bad" and what I thought we should do. I told them the formula was prescribed so if that was the issue we'd have to go to the Pediatrician and ask her first. So in an effort to not be flippant about his issues, I called the pediatrician's office and they had a walk in available. She decided to try a new formula, despite her reservations due to his prematurity and exposure at birth, so we are working on that now. That made for a crazy afternoon of wonky naps. We had small group later that night and I was dreading it due to the afternoon chaos but it turned out great. I communicated how sure I was Lil Guy was going with uncle and maybe sooner than later. It's bittersweet for sure.
Friday was the big day of the walk through with our caseworker. I was a nervous wreck. Not only was she going to take pictures again.. and thus I wanted the house as neat as possible. Also I wanted to make sure all the licensing stuff was right. Besides all that we had a bomb to drop on our caseworker. We are pregnant again! Woot! And not only that but I'm like 13 weeks (we are still a bit fudgy on the dates til our 20wk ultrasound). I had been super nervous in how to tell her, when to tell her and how to communicate that we STILL want to foster Lil Guy, are nearly ready for new placements, and we REALLY want to adopt and would move mountains if a case came up. Thank the Lord for Justin. He did awesome at communicating in clear and kind language that not only are we happy we are pregnant, but that we would STILL adopt Lil Guy, and we would STILL take another placement, and that we would definitely do whatever we needed to do if a legal risk (higher likelihood of adoption) or a legally free match came up throughout Texas. I was so proud. That would mean like 5 kids in our house in the next year, with a pending deployment. He even suggested a potential for hiring a live in nanny or housekeeper to help make it work. I was in awe.
So in the end. We had a ROUGH start with an AWESOME end. Now we have the weekend to relax. My house is clean. My hubs is amazing. My 3 boys are precious. Baby is doing well. God is SO GOOD.
Love Faithfulness Trust Submission = Favor, Good Name and Straight Paths.
Amen.
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